I know it is long but please read it and tell me what you think!
So my ex and I were together for almost a year. Because of my religion I will not have sex with a man before we are married. He started talking about what my dream engagement ring was, were I would like to get married, and other big hints that he was going to propose.
Then he asked me if when we got engaged could we have sex, because we both wanted a big wedding that would take at least six months to plan and save for and he didn’t think he could wait that much longer. I told him of course not I needed to be married first because that is what God wanted. He freaked out! He was like I should be more important to you then silly old traditions, and if we are engaged and you will still not sleep with me then that means you really don’t want to be with me. I told him that was far from the truth I did love him and I did want to marry him. But he was so convinced that me not having sex with him meant I didn’t care enough about him so we both agreed to end the relationship.
That was about a month and a half ago. Last week he asked me to go to dinner with him so we could talk about what happened. He took me to the nicest place we have within a half an hour of my small town and he asked if we could get back together. He said he was sorry and he was only excited to start our new life together and he took it a little to far. When I told him I would have to think about it he said “Then let me give you one more thing to think about” and he got down on one knee and pulled out my dream ring (a .75 ct. pear shaped diamond set on a plan white gold band) and asked me to marry him. I cried a little, but told him I needed some time to think.
Now I love him more than anyone else, and he is the first and only man (aside from family) that I have ever loved and I really want to be his wife. But he broke my heart! I was a mess without him, he hurt me worse than I hurt when my grandma died. Should I forgive him for that or should I move on?
Thanks in advance for your help, and please no mean or insulting comments!
im more wondering if “he” should take you back……just saying
It isn’t as if he cheated on you, if hes willing to wait then forgive and see
Actions speak louder
take it s-l-o-w-!
You may accept an engagement (I say at least 6 months to a year) and NO SEX!
That will show his true intentions!
NEVER risk pregnancy in a non-marriage relationship. It will rock your world!
Move On! He is just toying with your emotions and stringing you along, I’m so sorry.
Pray about it. Seriously! If he is not in the same place as you are in your walk with God, it is going to cause major problems down the road. I have seen the same in my daughter’s marriage. Her husband joined the church but his heart was not in it. I”m not saying that church attendance is mandatory. Her faith is a big part of her life. Once married, he has turned his back on God. This has caused major problems in their relationship and in their decisions on how to raise their children. Their relationship has been seriously compromised by their differing views on faith.
Take your time and really think things over. We’ll be praying for the right answer to come to you. Besh wishes.
yeah. you don’t need to forgive him. he didn’t do anything.. he didn’t have sex with you.. i’d say yes marry that bloke but don’t have sex until you are MARRIED! good on ya women!
Yes, you should. I, and most men, would not be that patient. Take it as a great act of love he has towards you and ignore his outburst, he has my sympathies.
Sissy! (That is neither mean, nor insulting.) The man is a Fool for you. There are few Fools left. You better go grab him while you still can!
✿LUCY✿
If he apologized and is truly sorry, I say go with it! You sound like you loved him a lot in your first relationship, because you were willing to wait until marriage. Pre-marital sex is something that you and I both disapprove of. I strongly suggest that if your ex pushes that idea onto you again, remind him why you two split up in the first place.
We all show love in our own ways, and I’m sure your ex is trying his best. Keep in mind you need to be assertive. You are a woman, and woman have much more power than men could comprehend.
As for religion, I think it is great that you have some sort of motivation in your life to keep moral values. If I was to give any advice on that matter, it would be this: if you are going to follow a God, never let go of his hand.
Hope everything works out!!
Well, anyone can make a mistake and become selfish for what they want. And if you are a true Christian then you must forgive. But the real question is: do you both have the same faith? It doesn’t appear to be that way, and the Bible clearly says that believers should not be unequally yoked with non-believers in marriage. If you do have the same beliefs then he should be ok with waiting until you are married to have sex. But unfortunately, being a guy that used to sleep with anyone I could, this current ploy of his seems to me to be an attempt to get you to let your guard down so you will give him what he wants. He is hoping that once you know for sure he is serious about marrying you (because he gave you the ring), you will give in soon and he will get what he wants. And when he does, you have violated God’s plan for marriage and will enjoy only limited blessing on your union, even if you both repent later. I think six months to a year to wait for the wedding day will definitely show his true intentions.
I think you should give hm another chance event though he broke your heart everyone makes mistakes. And he’s obviously learned from his. i think you should take him back you love him
He now realizes he was being a jerk.
He still loves you and wants to marry you.
You want to marry him.
If you find you’re not getting over the past, consider couple’s counseling.
I think you should go for it.
Everyone’s a jerk at some point in their lives. He’s a good enough man to realize it.